Family rant time.

So it's time once again to freak out about comments from my rather re eating I hate it when he brings up my eating because..it just sounds horrible and i get all uncomfortable. Like we'll be sitting with extended family or even his friends and he'll say "before we do ... you have to get your eating patterns under control" or "your disordered eating impacts on the whole family". just really cringe-worthy embarrasing shit like that.

We're planning a holiday this january, it's going to be epic. We're going to the top of Australia (cairns) and swimming in the great barrier reef for a couple days, then going to Osaka in Japan for a week, where it'll be freezing cold then picking my friend up and going to Melbourne (aus.) to see the australian open tennis and go shopping. We're (my step mum and me) are getting all excited about melbourne and looking at accomodation and then dad comes out with "before we go you need to get your eating controlled, none of this weight management and pickiness"and now everything is hostile and awkward between us GRRR i hate this out of control feeling.

When we go on holidays food problems will be in Japan and on the flights. Because we're staying in a traditional hotel they provide all meals and i know from experience they're like five course breakfast lunch and dinner. The flights are typical plane food but i'm considering ordering something different on the flight or not eating it...dunno yet. Anyway thats not for two and a half months.

My weight this morning was 53 kgs, and i ate 850 cals today which is more than a low cal day but i am planning to liquid fast tomorrow. I'm going swimming at like 6.30pm with my friend and i told my parents we're having fish and chips, i hope i don't get discovered or forced to eat dinner at home.

Psych on tuesday is going to be verrrrry interesting because dad is going to come out with the usual crap of me being very controlled and picky and obsessed with calories, weight yada yada. I just hope the guy doesn't suggest dad monitor my breakfast and lunch cuz i will FREAK. I've been organising more dinners out and stuff with my mum cuz she really doesn't care and has no clue so its sooo much easier.

anyway we're going to watch friends probly in awkward silence and dad is going to give me more blackmail about not going on holidays unless i get my eating under control

just a rant post, hopefully 52 kilos by tuesday morning. got some future dinners under control: tomorrow fast, tuesday japanese (cabbage, seaweed salad, diet coke), wednesday prawns w/ salad thursday something fatty and gross like pasta and friday i'll make a stir fry.

xx Claude