Most awkward thing since white bread.

So I have this awesome boyfriend (i know i sound about ten but whatever) and we have been friends slash talk-every-day for about four years, and now its been a month and because we've known each other for ever it;s like BAM full on relationship. anyway yesterday we were hanging the whole day and he said the cutest thing, wait for it;..... "Claude it might be too early but...I think i love you a lil bit" :D

anyway we're perfect in like all those kinds of ways, except we were going to have sex (again the ten year old thing) and we're both virgins, and it did not go well. as in it didn't work.... painful etc etc stopped us so yeah...

The other more sinister benefit of having a boyfriend is i'm distracted the whole day, for instance yesterday and today i bascally have had breakfast and dinner and nothing in between, and i'm not even focussed on it, t'is lovely!

Also last part of Harry Potter tomorrow, can not even begin to exemplify how exciting it will be. Getting dressed in hogwarts skirts, blouses, ties and robes, gonna be soo hot. Casual midnight session :)

anyway must get back to the baby brother and boyfriend, thought i'd check in and much love. (ps hovering around 120 Ibs... i am such a fatty but hoping to finally crack the 115 range, just have to stop night eating)

xx Claude

Another day, another pound.

Slept at my friend's last night with the gang in preparation for a day trawling the city of Sydney. T'was filled with fun, just annoyed the only thing that ruined it was the copious amounts of food! Two of my three best friends eat enormous amounts. They're both tiny (like 50 kg naturally - pisses me off) but eat often and heaps... For instance, i met with one of them and we got coffee, shopped etc, went back to hers. And we had melting moments (delicious of course but also a casual 200 calories that i didn't need), then watched tv, then made curry puffs (and had like five each) then my other friend came with a sushi platter (the only calories i had planned on having) AND a surprise sponge/cream cake and mars bars!! That meant night officially ruined. melting moment = 200, curry puffs = 450, sushi = 350, cake = 400, mars bar = 250. Like common!!! And they wake up the next morning and the first thing out of their mouths "i'm starving - who wants banana bread?" Ah!!! But anyway, i knew today would be fine because at our first food stop i got a skim hot chocolate (milk = fullness) and for lunch i ordered pumpkin soup, then had a minor freak out when they said they were sold out and got a chicken salad. I felt like my friends were death staring me cuz they all had massive towering burgers and chips (ew) so i got this orange cake thing and a mars red. (stupid... yeah!)

Anyway post massive eating at friends last night and relatively ok day today, my weight is 123 Ibs. that feels and sounds wayyyyy too high - much better around 115. I have just started jogging again with the help of the nike trainer, and i quite like it, just a matter of making myself do it.

Tuesday is my gp test, the last one was months ago and she rang to tell me the blood test said i was anaemic (nothing special, i got some pills so i'm not tired , the only bitch about it is i can't give blood anymore!) so i hope she isn't all quizzing me....

Then friday is my psych appointment. bleh. but on the upside i last purged sunday (now friday night) and tomorrow going to sydney again with mother, so not much bingeing and not really planning on b/p ing any time soon :)

anyway another boring post of boringness....
oh except this arvo i bought a super cute dress from mod cloth, tell me yay or nay :)

Oh and got two hot elle macpherson bra's... hopefully the boyfriend is impressed :P

anyway, au revoir
xx Claude

New start!!

With eating, blogging, schooling, family-ing, everything!

Ok so I just left blogging alone for a good few months, I think because i was in the same repetitive pattern - restrict, binge, purge, feel shite. It meant i just didn't come on here or feel like doing anything of worth. Nowwww everything is different - why i hear you ask? Because Lachlan was born!! Baby brother = unconditional love that shows me there is something worth not purging for :) On that note allow me to share some of the gorgeous photos. He is five weeks right now.'


Anyway back to reality. So now every time i go to purge my brain is like 'no there's Lachlan and you want to see him grow up' etc. But the great thing is i've still managed to lose seven pounds :P I'm not restricting heaps, and I'm even having three meals a day, around 1200 ish a day. Plus i have discovered a new love for jogging. I got the nike sensor in my shoe which connects to your Ipod - it is seriously super motivating. You can set a calorie goal and jog to your fave playlist and it tells you as you reach your goal.

Anyway just made pancakes (diet) and watching 'the perfect catch'. Oh - also it's holidays, which means stress-free chilling.

anyway shall promise to update more often (and also i have been reading everyone's blogs, just haven't felt like i had enough to post)
xx Claude